❇️ The Power of a (True) Apology

When I interviewed candidates for the FBI, they often expected the standard checklist questions. I wasn’t interested in memorized answers.

🟢 Character over credentials.

🟢 Humility over ego.

🟢 Mission (and Team) over self.

The question that challenged my interviewees the most involved their ability to own a mistake or failure, their ability to apologize and what they learned from the experience.

Hat tip to Adam Grant’s calendar 📆 for this daily dose of truth:

“A sincere apology involves taking responsibility for your actions. ‘I'm sorry for…"

When I interview you, I am not interested in performative professionalism.

I want to know who you are not only what you have done. It was always important, but toward that last decade as an executive with more rearview in the mirror it became even more important. I was now hiring for small executive staff teams or at the executive level of leadership. One of the most powerful indicators of character? The ability to own your mistakes without defensiveness. I want to know your worst mistake or failure that was ALL you, what it was, what you did, how you handled it and how it changed you as a person.

I am not looking for flawless execution or always having the perfect answer. I am not hiring Robots 🤖. In fact, the biggest red flag 🚩? People who struggled to even come up with mistakes or failures they could share. Even today, I can list my mistakes and failures chronologically, alphabetically and in order to magnitude of my screw up. More importantly, I can talk about how those failures have shaped me.

One of the qualities I prize most? The ability to own your mistakes. Not defensively. Not begrudgingly. But honestly. Not just own them but learn and change because of them.

In high-stakes environments, trust matters more than perfection. And nothing builds trust faster than a real apology.

✋ “I’m sorry." - Take responsibility, don't make excuses.

🧭 Own the behavior- "I should not have..."

🔧 Offer repair, not just regret. "What can I do to make it right?" "This is what I will do to make sure it won't happen again."

That kind of humility didn’t make us weak- it made us unstoppable.

So many people struggle with the words “I am sorry.” Maybe it’s pride. Maybe it’s fear. I may never understand why those easy words are so hard for so many.

I do know that I want people on my team who can say them.

❇️ Saying “I’m sorry” isn’t weakness. It’s strength. 💪🏼

❇️ It doesn’t diminish your credibility—it builds trust.

❇️ It’s not about guilt—it’s about growth.

#teamculture #character #leadership